Monday, October 1, 2012

Burger Time! - Part 3 - MADNESS! (with a patty and a bun)

Hey kids!

I'm back, wrapping up my thrilling burger trilogy with over-the-top meat and bun creations that would make all but the most stalwart gastropod cringe in fear. And in keeping with the "trilogy" theme, let's put it this way:

If my previous posts were the battering rams you see the Uruk-hai use in Two Towers, this post is Return of the King's muthafrakkin' GROND, b*tches!

Don't worry, I am NOT making a Wolf's Head Burger...

Scared yet? Nah? Well, ok. You will be. You. Will. Be.

As I've said before, the burger has basically become a staple of the North American diet. And it's also become a canvas for complete over-the-top food experimentation. If you've ever seen Man vs. Food, you've seen just how crazy some places make their burgers.

Here's an example (the most expensive one) of just how far one will push a burger:

A 5000$ burger?!?!??! WTF LORD!???! Alright, before my 99% sentiments get the best of me, I'll just say that that's pretty effing crazy.

And I totally want one RIGHT NOW!!!!

But beyond the crazy (and really freakin' expensive) is something that is beyond obscene, beyond hedonism... It's an invitation to gastronomic suicide! Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you the Luther Burger. The Luther Burger is a really big patty (half a pound to a full pound of meat), fried up, covered in cheese, topped with bacon. And then the crazy part happens: you sandwich all this between a glazed doughnut sliced in half, which you then fry up in the leftover burger grease. That's right, the bun is a doughnut. Enjoy the heart attack, kids!

What obesity epidemic?
Now, the Luther Burger is a bit over the top. Just a little bit. But I still want one desperately, especially if it was made using Suzy Q Doughnuts' Maple Bacon doughnut as the bun. That's a mission for the future, I guess, because even I am afraid of this. It sounds SO TASTY! I just don't know if I'd live through it...

So, while leaving the Luther Burger to crazier cooks than I, I'd be a liar if I said I hadn't tried a little bit of burger craziness in my own right.

It all stemmed from a facebook conversation I was having with a couple of friends a ways back about combining two kinds of meat in a single dish, not counting bacon, since bacon is a vegetable, and if it can ever work. Specifically, I think we were debating if beef and chicken can be combined in a single dish, other than a combination shawarma plate.

So, I took up the challenge as part of the burger exploration I'd been engaging in at the time. I would make a beef burger topped with chicken. Now, it's me, so what else am I going to do but smoke me some meat? I've smoked chicken before and it's no different than most meats: rub with tastiness, smoke at 225-250 degrees for 3-4 hours (for the single chicken leg I used), and eat (or in this case, shred to become a burger topping).

Here's how it went down in pictures after I'd smoked the chicken.

First, I grilled the burgers:

Sizzle me beauties!
As they were cooking, I quickly shredded up the chicken meat:

Smokey chicken goodness!!

Once the burgers were ready, I threw on a healthy whack of chicken meat on top of the burgers:

Meat on Meat!
I decided to go a little crazy and add grilled corn and creamed spinach to the whole thing. Kari whipped together a chipotle mayonnaise to top the burger and that was that!

Just a light meal...

Needless to say, I was a very, VERY full boy after this epic dinner. I guess I need to give this burger a name... The Mooclucker? The Chickow Burger? Any suggestions?

So, there it is, the end of our burger saga. Got any crazy burger concepts you want to share? Please leave a comment! I'd love to see how interesting one can make a beef patty and bun.


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