Culinary Holidays - Cinco de Mayo

Holà!

One great thing about my living-in-sin-wife/babymama Kari is her exuberance in finding random holidays from various cultures to use as excuses to make a giant spread. Earlier this year, we did an over-the-top Shrove Tuesday pancake feast (cheddar pancakes with pork belly steaks and a cabbage hash) and we were toying with the idea of trying a Passover seder in April (cooler Gentile heads prevailed after seeing just how involved and ritualistic such an undertaking would be). As for Easter, we ate chocolate, naturally.

Which brings us to Cinco de Mayo. From what little I've heard of the holiday, it's an excuse to eat Mexican cuisine (really, do you need more reason to declare a holiday?). But, since I'm writing a post on the topic, it would probably behoove me to include at least a little bit of background information; here's what wikipedia has to say: 

It originated with Mexican-American communities in the American West as a way to commemorate the cause of freedom and democracy during the first years of the American Civil War, and today the date is observed in the United States as a celebration of thanks to Mexico in fending off would-be French support for the Confederate States of America in the Civil War. In the state of Puebla, the date is observed to commemorate the Mexican army's unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, under the leadership of General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín.

Totally seems like a legit reason to eat a giant feast and drink tequila! But seriously, like so many holidays that come into the public consciousness, Cinco de Mayo has grown beyond its humble beginnings and become more of a celebration of Mexican culture, at least the edible and imbibeable aspects of it...

But, one aspect of the holiday meal surrounding Cinco de Mayo that seems consistent is serving Molé. Molé is a dish that can be found throughout Mexico and everyone has their own version of it. That being said, the Molé we see most in Canada and the US is Molé Poblano, which hails from the same Puebla region from which the holiday likely originates. So, it seems appropriate that I based my Molé recipe on this version, which is the most commonly known outside Mexico. From a few online sources, I got the following unofficial info that Molé a) was put together by a nun who cobbled the whole lot together at the last minute for unexpected guests with whatever she could find (reminds me of the story behind Caesar Salad) and b) it 'traditionally' requires at least 20 ingredients. My version *just* made it to 20 (the cilantro doesn't count), so I guess it was a decent attempt.

One of the cooooooooooolest thing about Molé is that it traditionally is all mixed in a mortar and pestle. I looooooooove my mortar and pestle, having acquired it from a local Thai grocer for a mere 25 dollars. It's a huge stone vessel and is a lot of fun to work with, albeit heavy as all git-out. But grinding all kinds of ingredients together with a big heavy stone club brings out my primal cook side, so the whole process of making Molé is a whole lot of fun.

Alright, let's get to it!



Grinding spices old-school

Ingredients

- 1 dried guajillo chili
- 2-3 dried arbol chilies
- 1 dried pasilla chili
- 1 dried chipotle pepper
- 1/2 tsp anatto seeds
- 1 tsp dried oregano
- 1 tsp cumin seeds (toasted)
- 1 tsp coriander seeds (toasted)
- 1/2 cup roasted peanuts (salted or unsalted, depends on how much salt you want)
- 1 tsp coarse salt (see above)
- 1 tsp black peppercorns
- 1 tsp cocoa powder
- 2-3 star anise
- 1 cinnamon stick
- 2 tbsp olive oil
- 1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breast or thigh, diced
- 1-2 medium onions, diced
- 3-4 garlic cloves, minced
- 2 ripe, medium tomatoes, diced (make sure you keep juices)
- 1/2 cup Resposato tequila
- 1 cup chicken stock
- juice of half a lime
- chopped cilantro for garnish




Molé, molé, molé, molé

 Directions

- If your Guajillo, Arbol, Pasilla chilies are still a little moist, dry them out/toast them in the oven at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for about 10 minutes.
- In a mortar and pestle or spice grinder, grind together the chilies, anatto seeds, oregano, cumin, coriander, peanuts, salt, pepper, cocoa, star anise and cinnamon stick together. It should come together into a kind of semi-moist powder from the oil in the peanuts.
NOTE: You can also grind all the other ingredients other than the chicken to make the Molé sauce in the most traditional way possible, but it's a bit messy with all that liquid.
- Heat oil over medium-high heat and sauté onions, garlic, chicken and tomatoes for about 5-6 minutes, stirring frequently.
- Add seasoning from mortar, stirring to make sure everything gets coated with seasoning.
- Stir in tequila and chicken stock and bring to a boil.
- Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer Molé for about 20 minutes.
- Serve over Mexican Rice (recipe to come) and garnish with cilantro.


 

Tasty, tasty Mexican goodness

In the end, I forgot the cilantro (whoops), but the meal was delicious: a good balance of heat, nuttiness, savory and sweet. The cinnamon, peanuts and cocoa blended well to create a fairly decent approximation of the flavour profile of Mexican chocolate and this totally made the chicken excellent, which isn't always easy to pull off .

Here's hoping you enjoy this foray into cooking for a holiday! My intention is to make this the first of many!

Cheers y Salud!

On Ketchup feat. Banana Sambal Ketchup

Hey there!

I think it's safe to say that there's no condiment that gets as bad a rap as ketchup, and probably deservedly so. Scourge of foodies everywhere, this ubiquitous saucepaste was pretty much the main condiment the most of us grew up with. We considered fries useless without it, we drowned our KD in it, and it completed our burgers (well, maybe your burgers, I switched to topping my burgs with BBQ sauce when I was around 8). But as palettes grew up, ketchup became a bit, well, gross. I stopped using it years ago except maybe for fries (when I didn't feel like using Sriracha Mayo) and homemade BBQ sauce, and then only when it's really high quality stuff, like this. As for "57 Flavours", blech.

So, you'd think the last place I bring up ketchup would be here on my super-epic foodie blog, right? So what am I doing here talking about it? Well, a legend/rumour I heard once has it that ketchup was originally made from bananas instead of tomatoes and I found that idea totally intriguing. Turns out that "origin story"is a load of rich creamery butter. BUT! I found this neat tidbit in internetland (yay wikipedia!):

Banana ketchup or banana sauce is a popular Philippine condiment made from mashed banana, sugar, vinegar, and spices. Its natural color is brownish, so it is often dyed red to resemble tomato ketchup. Banana ketchup was made when there was a shortage of tomato ketchup during World War II, due to lack of tomatoes and a comparatively high production of bananas.

So, the idea of Banana Ketchup isn't too crazy. I'll admit I don't know what possessed me to whip together, probably something to do with nigh overripe tomatoes and bananas. Either way, it seemed like a good idea at the time. I also thought it would be a good idea to make it a little spicy, hence the use of sambal oelek, which is a chili paste of Indonesian origin.


Banana Sambal Ketchup

Makes about a cup

- 2 tbsp vegetable, olive or avocado oil
- 2-3 ripe tomatoes, finely diced
- 1 medium onion, finely diced
- 3-4 cloves garlic, minced
- 1/4 cup cider vinegar
- 1/4 cup rice wine vinegar
- 2 tbsp tomato paste
- 1 tbsp sambal oelek (MAX!)
- 2 tbsp cane sugar
- 2 tbsp molasses
- 1/2 cup beer
- 2 cloves, ground
- 1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
- 1 star anise pod, ground
- 4-5 cardamom seeds, ground
- 2-3 allspice berries, ground
- 1 tsp smoked paprika
- 1 tsp dry ginger (or 1 tbsp fresh, minced)
- 2 ripe bananas, mashed
- 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
- 2 tsp honey

- Heat oil in a saucepan on medium-high and sauté the tomato, onion and garlic. Cook for about 7-8 minutes, until onions are translucent and tomatoes are mushy.
- Stir in vinegars, tomato paste, sambal oelek, sugar, molasses, beer and seasonings, mix well and bring to a boil.
- Reduce heat to low (1-2) and allow to simmer and thicken for about 20 minutes.
- Stir in bananas, Worcestershire sauce and honey and cook for another 5-10 minutes. NOTE: the banana will dissolve quickly if ripe which is why I left it till the end, but if you're stuck with an under-ripe banana, you'll want to start cooking it earlier.  
- Remove from heat and serve when ketchup has cooled. Refrigerate unused portion in a glass jar. If you want a smooth ketchup, puree in a blender. I prefer a "rustic" style ketchup.

Topping for a burger and, mixed with garlic sauce, a great dip for sweet potato fries!  

So, the recipe I've provided is the "after" version, after discovering that 2 tablespoons of sambal and 2 tablespoons of honey was too much of both, hence why I've adjusted the amounts of each ingredient. But, even a little screwed up, it was delicious! I'm convinced when I make it again to spec, it'll be possibly my new condiment of choice.

Enjoy!

Decadence! feat. Smoked Mushrooms of Doom!

Hi there,

There are many different ways in which one can indulge in all manner of decadent cookery, but certainly one of the most fun is to wrap stuff in bacon.

Yes, I know we're all getting sick of the ubiquity of bacon (u-bacon-ty?) in blogs and elsewhere, but that doesn't change the fact that it's one of the foods that makes life worth living, full stop. So, I'm still going to use it and use it ridiculously.

Now, for today's post, I can't actually take credit for the idea, that goes to my muse of ridiculous, Kari. In a moment of inspiration, after failing to use mushrooms with a steak dinner the night before and me not being sure what to do with them since I was making ribs and I don't think those two ever go together. Well, unless you stuff 'em with blue cheese and wrap 'em in bacon and throw 'em on the smoker!

This was a pretty simple recipe to put together, and it also gave me a chance to test out my new smoker! I've been using the side barrel smoker for years and I've been meaning to expand my arsenal so I can do a whole bunch of stuff at once.




The Bacon Dalek

The recipe is pretty damn simple as I will demonstrate:

Smoked Mushrooms of Doom

Ingredients

- 10-12 large white or cremini mushrooms, stems removed.
- 10-12x 1 cm pieces of mild blue cheese (Danish blue is what we used)
- 10-12 pieces of bacon
- 10-12 toothpicks, soaked for at least 30 minutes

Directions

- Soak a couple of handfuls of wood chips. I used chips that came from whiskey barrels (extra decadence!) but hickory or apple would work.
- Stuff mushroom with blue cheese.
- Wrap mushrooms in bacon and affix with toothpick.
- Get the fire going in the smoker. In the vertical smoker, there is a pan at the bottom where you light the fire, and then you stack the other two levels of the smoker on top once it's lit. There's a grill on the next level where you put the food. If you get a vertical smoker like this, the instructions should tell you how to do it.
- Smoke the mushrooms for at 2.5-3 hours at about 250 degrees. I did them for 2 hours and they were a bit undercooked, so give it some extra time to get the perfect texture.





Who needs unclogged arteries? Not me!

So, it turned out to be a pretty tasty bite of salty saltiness. The depth of the mushrooms accompanied with the sharpness and creaminess of the cheese was a great pairing, and, well, bacon. The bonus flavour from the whiskey smoke truly set the bar sky-high in the realm of decadence. I think I've found this summer's party treat.

Cheers!

Saluting the Sausage - Part 2: Merguez

Bonjour et as-salamu alaykum!

For our next look at the wide world of the sausage, we go from the bayou to the Maghreb.

Merguez is a lamb sausage originating from Northern Africa (Tunisia/Algeria area) that is usually fairly spicy without being overbearingly so, although I've had some that was a bit hard to take. But even when it's blisteringly hot, it's delicious. I've never tasted Merguez where the "lambiness" came through in a gamey, woolen-flavoured mess the way many lamb dishes can, which is usually why people avoid lamb (even though it's freakin' delicious).

Luckily, the nice folks at Sasloves make a really good version of it; with good heat and immensly flavourful and it makes for a great example of Merguez-dom...?





Happiness in a pan

Now, there are a million ways to eat a good piece of sausage, but you'd probably think a salad is the last place to showcase this amazing ingredient! But, Kari and I have been trying to eat more veggies and salads and whatnot, so it just came together in our minds, after buying the sausage, to put together flavours with a Middle Eastern/North African vibe and top it with the Merguez.


Tunisian Sunshine Salad
 

Salad

- 1/2 English Cucumber, thickly diced

- 1 cup Grape tomatoes, sliced in half
- 1 orange pepper, diced or julienned
- 1-2 carrots, peeled and grated
- 1 tsp fresh mint, chopped
- 1/2 cup Green beans, trimmed
- 1 tsp fennel seed, toasted
- 3-4 Merguez sausages, cut into 1 inch pieces

Ready to come together

Dressing

- 1/2 cup Greek yogurt

- 1 tsp fresh ginger, minced
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1/2 tsp sumac
- 1 tsp paprika
- pinch chili flakes
- 1 tsp cumin powder
- 1 tsp fennel seeds, roughly ground
- Juice and zest of 1/2 lemon
- 2 tbsp red wine vinegar
- 1/4 cup Red wine
- 2 tbsp Olive oil
- Salt and pepper to taste 

- Whisk all ingredients together.
- Toss salad with dressing.





Bowl full o' brightness!


 

So, once we put it all together and gave it a taste, I asked Kari what we should call it and she responded "sunshine salad!" So, adding in its North African origins, I came up with the name Tunisian Sunshine Salad.

How did it taste? Freakin' amazing! The name fit, it was full of bright citrus and subtle bitter notes from the lemon, yogurt, vinegar and sumac, crunch from the veggies and lots of spicy flavour from the sausage. It's also just a whole lot of nutrition; I could feel my blood and bones re-knitting after this excellent meal. I imagine there will be a lot of repeat performances from this bonanza of veggies (not to mention the tasty tasty sausage)!

That's all for today! Cheers!

Let's Go Crazy! - Part 3: Tacos

Hola!

Alright, I'll admit it, tacos are already an excuse to go crazy. I've seen lamb, pulled pork, sashimi grade fish, steak, even ox tongue in tacos, but I've never really done them myself. But I've always wanted to have fun making some sort of over-the-top taco creation. I just didn't realize I was going to give myself the opportunity so randomly.

What began as an on-the-spot pick-up of frozen haddock at the grocery store somehow ended up as a foray into the decadent world of fried chicken. I'll explain: Kari and I have been on "fresh and light" kick for dinners lately and I bought the fish with the goal of making a light fish taco loaded with veggies. But then Thursday, April 3 happened. As mentioned in a recent post, I made some tasties for the "Capital SuccessFest" to help Ottawa's own Lefty McRighty with his legal woes against Voldemort. Well, attendance led to imbibance which led to hungoverness. And from said hungoverness came a powerful, POWERFUL craving for fried chicken, so fish tacos suddenly got conceptually usurped by Fried Chicken Tacos. Now, it took an extra day to implement, but I'd planted the seed and there was no way Kari was going to let me off the hook without deep fried goodness. So, Fried Chicken Tacos it was! I will declare that we showed a modicum of restraint in that we stuck with the "lots of veggies" idea by making a slaw, a variation of a pico de gallo, and refried beans.

Now, I've never made fried chicken before, generally avoiding deep frying as a "go-to" form of cooking, but it really isn't that hard (messy, yes, but not difficult); and there are few things in this world as delicious as fried chicken. I've watched enough food pr0n TV and read enough cookbooks to have learned a few tips on how to pull it off and there's always the Internet for tips.

Additionally, the sides/toppings (slaw, pico and beans) were all fairly straightforward and uncomplicated. So while this might look like a recipe concocted by a madman, and maybe it is, since I've never heard of putting fried chicken on a taco (although it's probably totally a thing in Mexico), it wasn't actually that hard to do.

So let's do this thang!

Fried Chicken Taco

There's all kinds of fun things going on here, with lots of crunchy elements from both the veggies and the chicken. Let's start with the main building block of the dish, the chicken:

Fried Chicken

Ingredients

Marinade

- 2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1-inch, 3-inch long strips
- 2 cups buttermilk
- 1/4 cup taco sauce (such as Valentina Salsa Picante)

Coating

- 2 cups flour
- 1 tsp chili powder

- Canola oil for frying

Directions

- In a large non-reactive bowl, mix buttermilk and taco sauce together.
- Place pieces of chicken in milk mixture and let sit for an hour or so.
- Fill a large, deep pan with about an inch-deep layer of oil. Heat on medium-high heat until ready to fry chicken (to test if oil is hot enough, let a drop of water fall into the oil; if it sizzles, it's ready to use)
- While oil is heating, mix flour and chili powder in a bowl or high-edged plate or some other container that won't make a mess as you hand-coat your chicken!
- To coat chicken, do the following for each piece: let excess liquid drip off, coat in flour mixture, shake off excess flour, soak in milk mixture again, let excess liquid drip off, coat in flour a second time and shake off excess. You *could* just coat the chicken once, but I find it way crunchier with two coats.
- Fry the chicken in batches. Don't crowd the pan, and cook until coating is golden and crispy, and chicken floats.
- Remove chicken from oil using a slotted spoon and dry on paper towels to remove all excess oil. You want your chicken crispy, not oily. Set aside in oven at 200 degrees to keep warm.



Isn't it a gorgeous sight?

Now we build up our supporting cast with a pair of tasty veggie toppings. First, the Pico de Gallo:

Pico de Gallo

This is your standard Pico de Gallo with a little bit of cucumber added in for extra flavour and freshness.

Ingredients

- 1 tomato, diced
- 1 jalapeno pepper, finely diced
- 1 small cucumber, finely diced
- 1 small onion, finely diced
- 2 tbsp cilantro, finely chopped
- juice of 1/4 lime
- salt and pepper to taste

Directions

- Mix ingredients well and chill for an hour.



Healthy component #1

Moving along, now we have the Southwestern Slaw. Originally intended to be a side

Southwestern Slaw (recipe taken from Allrecipes.com) (I omitted the onion since there was already onion in the pico de gallo and beans)

Ingredients

Slaw

- 3 cups cabbage, shredded (we used napa cabbage, but any will do)
- 1 carrots, peeled and grated
- 1 red pepper, seeded and julienned
- 1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and finely diced
- 2 tsp fresh cilantro, finely chopped

Dressing

- 1/2 cup canola
- 2 tbsp cider vinegar
- 1 tbsp sugar
- 1 tsp cayenne pepper
- 1 tsp lime juice
- salt and pepper to taste

Directions

- Mix all veggies in a large bowl.
- Whisk together dressing ingredients until sugar is dissolved
- Mix dressing with vegetables and set aside for at least an hour to let flavours blend.

Healthy component #2

Refried Beans

Ingredients

- 2 tbsp olive oil
- 1 small onion, finely minced
- 3-4 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 796 ml/28 oz. can black beans
- 1 cup chicken or vegetable stock
- 1/2 cup beer (optional)
- juice of 1/4 lime

Directions

- Heat olive oil on medium-high heat and sauté garlic and onion for 3-4 minutes.
- Stir in black beans and stock and reduce heat to medium. Keep stirring and mash the beans with the flat of the spoon. You don't want to turn this into a smooth purée, but rather a more "rustic" texture.
- As the beans cook and absorb the stock, they can sometimes dry out a little. The beer is there in case that happens; stir it in to re-moisten your beans. It also makes it tastier!
- Once beans have cooked to your taste, stir in lime juice and remove from heat.

Healthy component #3 (well, maybe not with the beer)

To put it together, spread a schmear of refried beans on a flour tortilla (preferably heated for 5 minutes at a low temperature - 200-225 degrees Fahrenheit - but I went with cold because I always forget my tortillas and they become Mexican crackers), then add your fried chicken (1 or 2 pieces depending on tortilla size and appetite), then top with pico, slaw and, if you want, some kind of hot sauce or salsa. I like the Valentina Salsa Picante mentioned above, which is pretty much a straight-up taco sauce. If you're a big cilantro fan, you can always add a couple of sprigs to the taco, but there's already some in the slaw and the pico, so keep that in mind.

 

Grab taco with hands and snarf!

 

So much good!

So, after all that, how'd it turn out? Well, as one might expect, the star of the taco was indeed the fried chicken; I could have eaten the taco with just the chicken and taco sauce and been a happy camper. As I suspected, double-coating it made it super crunchy while keeping the chicken nice and moist, with the buttermilk/taco sauce combo providing a nice tangy quality.

That being said, having all those veggies did help the experience as I could feel my arteries NOT hardening after every bite... Nothing amongst the three of them really stood up and said WOW! to me, but they played their roles well: the pico giving a fresh pop, the slaw adding some acidity and crunch and the refried beans rounding out the taco with a rich earthiness.

So really, I think I've discovered an important lesson: fried chicken, whether it be served at home or in a local eatery, is pretty much as crazily delicious a food as there can be. But also likely to cut short your lifespan, so be responsible! Only YOU can prevent a life filled with fried chicken! (now, the quality of said fried-chicken-free life might be up for debate...)

Enjoy!

Authentic Greek (by way of my Mom)

Well hello there!

I wrote a post nearly 3 years ago about how amazing a cook my mother is, intending to create an entire series of posts based on me attempting to recreate her culinary touchstones. Turns out I didn't get past the appetizers... Truth be told, I don't cook many of the things I grew up eating, mainly because I prefer trying new things. Heck, I don't even make my "standards" much anymore (like my Chili and my Beef-Sweet Potato Curry or my Chicken Burritos), again because I always want to try new things.

But sometimes my taste buds cry out "Go back! Baaaaaaaaack to times long agooooooooooo..." For the longest time, they've been wanting to go back to a stew my mother made when I was younger, the recipe for which, I just recently discovered, she acquired on a trip to Greece in the late 80s. It was so tasty; full of bright tomato and onion flavours boosted by salty feta and juicy shrimp. I hadn't had it in years and I was getting antsy! Well, luckily enough, opportunity presented itself recently and unintentionally, as it usually does with cooking in our house.

It started with Kari going on a casserole kick, which included a Greek-themed casserole with orzo and feta. But for some reason, upon re-reading the recipe, she decided it might not be good, so I stepped in with the idea that, if we got some shrimp, we could make my Mom's old recipe!

So, I called my mom, she sent the recipe along, and we were off. Turns out that this meal of succulence is also really freaking easy to make!



A taste of teenagehood

Shrimp-Feta Stew

Ingredients

- 1 28 oz. can diced tomatoes or 3-4 fresh tomatoes, diced 

- 1 lb. shrimp, peeled, de-veined and tails removed

- ¼ cup olive oil

- 1 medium onion, finely sliced

- 4 cloves garlic, minced

- Salt and pepper to taste

- 1 cup white wine

- 1 tbsp fresh parsley

- ½ tsp dried oregano

- 3 oz. feta, cut into 1/4 inch cubes

So much goodness in one pot

Directions

- In saucepan, heat oil, sauté onion and garlic for 5 mins.

- Add all but shrimp, bring to boil, reduce, simmer for an hour

- Add shrimp and cook through

- Reduce heat to low and stir in cheese

- Serve with over pasta on its own with a really good loaf of bread (or nothing) and a nice light white wine, preferably Greek (although we went a Sauvignon Blanc, maybe Australian...?)

Now, this is probably a very heart-healthy and light meal, but not once you throw in half a loaf of bread, which can easily happen as you try to sop up every last drop of sauce, because it's THAT FREAKIN' GOOD! So, I caution a little carbohydral restraint.

But yeah, make this, trust me. So good.

Free Lefty! - Bacon and Bourbon Shortbread

FREE LEFTY!!

The world is full of jerks, it's an unfortunate truth.

Case in point, one of Ottawa's cornerstones of interesting music, Lefty McRighty, is being sued by a certain music promoter for some stuff he wrote that may or may not be absolutely bang-on. I'll let the media handle the details. Point is that sometimes good people get caught in the flotsam of not-so-good events and they need a little help from their friends. So, in order to help Lefty out with possible legal fees, there's a fundraising event taking place April 3 at the Rainbow Bistro in Ottawa. Part of the fun will be a bake sale, and yours truly decided to try his hand at creating something delicious to help out.

So, I decided to make Bacon n' Bourbon Shortbread, which is essentially a compilation of some of favourite foods in cookie form. First off, I made this shortbread recipe from AllRecipes.com:


Shortbread

- makes about 2 dozen cookies

Ingredients

- 1 cup butter, softened
- 1 1/2 cups flour
- 1/4 cup corn starch
- 1/2 cup confectioner's sugar (icing sugar)

Directions

- Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit (the original recipe says 375, but it lies).
- Using an electric mixer, whip butter till fluffy. I let it run on medium speed until the butter took a whipped cream texture. This takes about 10 minutes, but you may have to stop to take a spatula to scrape the butter back into the centre of the mixing bowl.
- Add the dry ingredients and beat into butter with mixer for 1 minute at low speed, then on high speed for 3-4 minutes.
- Drop about 1 tbsp of cookie dough per cookie onto a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper, and say cookie one more time, for fun.
- Bake for 10-11 minutes (again, the original recipe lies), until edges are golden.
- Remove from oven and gently(!!) move each cookie onto a wire rack to cool.

Step 1 - COOKIES!!

The next step in this trip down bake sale lane is to put something amazing on top. And when I think amazing, I think BACON! So, using this time-tested method, I developed a tasty cure for a whack of pork belly:

Free Lefty Bacon Cure

Ingredients

- 1 tbsp pure vanilla extract
- 1/3 cup kosher salt
- 1/2 cup brown sugar
- 2 tbsp maple syrup
- 1 tsp ground chipotle pepper
- 1 tsp ground guajillo pepper

Directions

- Smear the sure all over the pork belly and cure it for a week.
- Rinse cure and smoke over maple charcoal and apple wood chips for 4 hours at 225-250 degrees Fahrenheit.
- Fry up finished bacon and slice up into bits that can top a cookie.

Step 2 - BAYKUNNN!!!!

Next up, we needed to find something to affix the bacon to the cookie, and I got the eureka moment to use my recent crazy invention of Bourbon Caramel to do the job!

Step 3 - Currrrrrrmelllll

Once the caramel was cool, I drizzled it on each cookie and then topped each one with a pinch of bacon and drizzled a little bit more caramel on top. After the whole thing settled into place, I sent it off with my friend. But that's ok! If you show up at the Rainbow tomorrow, you'll be able to sample some of this goodness:

Tasty treats! 

Also, on top of that, kickass bands and hot burlesque ladies! What's not to enjoy!

So with that in mind, here's hoping I get at least one ass through the door with this post.

Cheers!