A Toast To My Hometown's Better Eateries - Jean Albert

Hey everybody!

It's time to let you know about another sources of tastiness in Ottawa. So, let's into it. I present to you Jean Albert  (no Web site available).

Jean Albert (pronounced like it's an English name - I thought it was French) is Ottawa's only soul food restaurant (so far as I can tell). It's run by a couple in their late-20s/early 30s, Jennifer and LeRoy Walden,  and the recipes are from LeRoy's grandmother from back in the heart of Georgia. This is the real deal. Ribs, Catfish, Fried Chicken (including Chicken n' Waffles!), Pulled Pork, Mac n' Cheese, so on and so forth. In case you hadn't noticed, southern food and soul food have been creeping their way back into the collective foodie consciousness in recent years and it's no secret that I've developed a bit of an obsession with this kind of cooking. Well, there's a fix for that craving, and it's just a few blocks away from my apartment!

Now, Kari and I decided on a cool March night to FINALLY give this place a try, only 6 months after learning of its existence. We were greeted with lots of enthusiasm from Jennifer, our server (and co-owner). After much salesmanship, we were convinced to order the speciality spiked drinks, I had the tequila-spiked lemonade while Kari had the rum-spiked iced tea. Both were delicious and we had two rounds each. Dangerously addictive stuff!

The menu is quite loaded with choices for appetizers and mains. So, we decided to go whole hog with the appetizer and try the Pork Smothered Fries (pun utterly intended).

The pulled pork was very tender and tasty and not too overladen with sauce (a problem with some pulled pork), although I suspect the smokiness came from liquid, not actual smoking, but that's understandable in any conventional restaurant kitchen. However, I'm pretty sure the fries came from a bag. If I'm wrong, I humbly apologize!

As an in-betweener side, we got a small sampler of Sweet Water (Corn)Bread. This was very different from the only other cornbread I've had, which is Kari's. Hers uses corn kernels and is very fluffy. The Jean Albert version was sweeter and spongier, having more of a texture akin to a mix of a pancake and a polenta cake. I liked the difference. Here's what it looks like:



But if the only foray into cornbread you've had has been at Jean Albert, I humbly offer up a completely different version in this recipe:

Kari’ s Cornbread (adapted from an old Martha Stewart Web post)

- Preheat oven to 350. put 4 tbsp butter in 8" square baking pan or 9" skillet; place in oven until melted.

- In a bowl, combine 1 cup flour, 1 cup cornmeal, 1/4 cup sugar, 2 tsp baking powder, 1 tsp salt.

- Stir in one egg, 3/4 milk, and a can of corn until just combined.

- Spoon batter into prepared pan.

- Bake until golden. 30 minutes in pan, 20 minutes in skillet.

Next we ordered the exact same 3-piece plate of Fried Chicken each, with the same side orders of Candied Yams and Collard Greens. This was a bit funny because after discussing what we should get so that we can sample a wider variety of items, Kari vetoed me and said "Just get what you want". So I did, and it turns out we have identical wants re: soul food. I'll add that to the pile of reasons why that woman rocks all kinds of YEAH! Right, back to the food...

The Candied Yams and Collard Greens were served on the side in large ramekins

The Candied Yams has a very nice flavour, full of syrup and butter. Decadent, but what soul food isn't?

The Collard Greens were like nothing I've ever tasted, with a smoky flavouring (thanks to smoked ham hocks in the cooking pot, which the traditional way collards are done) mixed with the nutty bitterness of al dente greens was one of the most interesting flavour combos I've ever had.

I've only experimented with Collard Greens once and the version I made was anything but traditional. Essentially, I boiled them until they were almost nothing (about 15-20 minutes), sauteed them quickly in butter and garlic, and squeezed some lime juice over top. It was tasty, but not the same experience as collards done Southern-style. Of course, the traditional version would break a vegetarian's brain. At least mine could be served to herbivores.

On to the Fried Chicken! I've read a lot of negative reviews on various restaurant review site about the Fried Chicken being lacking in flavour, but I think the folks writing them are missing the point. Fried Chicken at Jean Albert comes with your choice of BBQ sauce for dipping (for 1.50$), or baked in (for 2.50$). THAT was the main "ka-pow" flavour element, the chicken is simply the vehicle. You want intensely flavoured fried chicken on its own? Go to KFC and ingest 3 days worth of sodium.

As you can tell, I really liked the less intense flavour in their chicken. Not too salty and very tender. I did find that the coating was lacking in crunch, but that's in comparison to my Mom's recipe. And no one's fried chicken is better than Mom's. (yours, mine, whomever's).

I got mine with the Whiskey BBQ sauce on the side. It was lovely and smokey with that distinctive whiskey tang that makes all food better, but a bit too mild for my taste. I likes it spicy! Still, really effing good BBQ sauce! Kari got hers with the Candy-coat Glaze baked on. That was reeeeeally sweet, a bit too much for taste.

We were too full about halfway through the chicken to finish, but it made one heck of a tasty cold lunch the next day!

More recently, I was at an event at Babyon nightclub called The Cook-Off, where I had the chance to try LeRoy's Chicken 'n' Waffles, albeit on a Stick. Imagine a carnival-style snack made with juicy fried chicken chunks and waffle batter. TASTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They also have an upstairs bar (I didn't see it, but I know it's there!) and serve breakfast and lunch as well as dinner.
One thing I REALLY liked about Jean Albert is that it appears to be a successful restaurant that doesn't take itself too seriously. It came across to me as being as much a labour of love as a business. I know that probably isn't the case behind the scenes, but it's the kind of food I'd like to prepare if I had my own place, and it shows there's a market for it. Not that I intend to offer competition to Jean Albert, my resto idea has always centered around a ski resort. So, Jennifer and LeRoy, your niche is safe! Well, safe from me at least...

So, do yourself a favour and get out there to enjoy some of the most comforting comfort food there is in this whitebread town! I also suggest, if you're having dinner, skipping lunch that day...

Mom, COOK! (Because you're so damn good at it) - Part 1 - Appetizers

Good day all!

I'm back to tell you about the greatest cook I know and someone who always keeps my culinary aspirations soaring while humbling me with her talent. Of course, I'm talking about my Mom.

As the mother of seven children, six of whom were boys, she had to restrain herself in what she made when we were kids. Because there was a whole lot of picky in there. I admit being the one of the worst culprits. To this day, I feel a pang of guilt when I eat vegetable soup because of the royal stink I'd raise when it was on the menu when I was 7. In many ways, we were spoiled rotten by the quality of the food we ate growing up. Rare were the nights of pizza, McDonalds's or TV dinners, even with 7 mouths to feed! Mind you, this is a little bit before the days (like now) where the cost of healthy food is far greater than that of processed crap.

Just an example: When a birthday rolled around, the menu was decided by the birthday boy/girl and we could have whatever we wanted (although we always chose Chocolate Cake for dessert!). I'm pretty sure I had Southern Fried Chicken and Corn Fritters as my bday dinner of choice for about a decade straight.

Recently Mom decided to compile all her "greatest hits" into a bunch of Word documents for easy dissemination to her kids and grandkids.

And you, lucky readers, get to reap the reward along with all the rest of my siblings!

So, the plan for is to present some of my favourites amongst the recipes she's compiled over a few posts. This is the food I grew up on. Lucky me!

 Before I get into it, I'll give honourable mentions (and links) to items posted in previous entries that came from the genius of my mother:

- Doomsday Bars (from June 30, 2010) - This recipe was first given to my Mom by a colleague or student about 20 years ago. The whole clan was hooked from the get-go. Now I've made it an annual tradition at Blue Skies.

- Curry Dip (from "Classic Appetizers" - August 20, 2010) - The best, easiest way to get a kid to eat his/her veggies. A staple of get-togethers in the 70s and 80s. Addictive!

- Tourtière (from "Les mets d'chez nous - première partie" - March 24, 2011) - A staple of Quebecois cuisine and our Xmas dinners.


So, already you've had some insight into how good the eating was growing up in our house. Well, strap in, lots more to come! Today we're going to cover appetizers. Apologies for the lack of visual stimulus.

Appetizers

1 - Salmon Pâté

This is another classic from the 70s-80s that takes very basic ingredients and combines them into addictive treats (Mom really mastered this concept). This is pretty much a standard appetizer at every family gathering. Serve with crackers or bread/crostini.

Ingredients

- 1x 8 oz. package of cream cheese (the brick kind)
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 2x 8 oz. cans of red (Sockeye) salmon (I suppose you could try using fresh or frozen salmon, but that would be gilding the lily, as they say)
- 1/4 tsp Tabasco sauce
- 1 tbsp of lemon juice
- 1/4 tsp Worcestershire sauce
- 1 tbsp chopped onion
- 1/2 cup pecans
- 2 tsp prepared horseradish
- 3 tbsp parsley

Directions

- Drain salmon and remove skin.

- Place all ingredients in Food Processor and mix until well blended (if you're like me and try to avoid using the food processor as much as possible, I imagine bashing this mix together with a mortar and pestle would produce an interesting result).

- Refrigerate until firm.
 

2 - Brandied Cheese
 
As with so much great food, it's a deceptively simple recipe, but I betcha dimes to donuts it would be a hit in any restaurant that served it. It will certainly impress your guests!

Ingredients
 
- 1x 8oz package of cream cheese, softened (again, brick kind)
- 1x 8oz carton of sour cream
- 3 tbsp brandy
- 1 ½ cups [6oz] shredded Edam or Gouda cheese

Directions

- In a bowl, stir together cream cheese, sour cream and brandy.
- Stir in shredded cheese.
- Transfer to an 8 inch oven-proof dish.
- Bake in a 350 degree oven about 30 mins or until lightly browned.
- Serve warm with crackers or French bread.


Quote Mom: "I think that I have given this recipe to 256 people." - Make that a few more now...

3 - Mushroom and Seafood Tarts


Sheer, utter guilt-inducing decadence. This was my absolute favourite treat as a kid around the Christmas holidays, and that's including the 12 or so different kinds of cookies! Mom hasn't made these much in recent years, probably because there are a lot of really impressive appetizers out there that aren't nearly this involved in making (see above). But, some day I'm going to give them a go. On a side note, I remember more than once scooping a seafood tart fresh out of the oven and snarfing it in one bite, thus completely burning the inside of my mouth. The filling in these things is like gourmet napalm.

So, basically these are small (2-inches in diameter) puff pastry cups with a hot, gooey, cheesy, creamy filling based on either mushroom or seafood. Soooooo tasty!

Pastry Cups

To make your own cups: Roll out pastry (from whichever source works for you, the dough recipe for tourtière works here, as does any pie or pastry recipe), cut out circles {about 2 ½ inches in diameter}. Fit pastry circles into small muffin cups. Pierce pastry 4-5 times with fork. Bake at 400 degrees for 5 mins. Lower heat to 350 degrees and bake for about another 15 mins. or until browned. Cool pastry rounds on wire rack.

OR: pastry cups can be purchased at most grocery stores or delis.

Mushroom Filling

Ingredients

- ¾ lb chopped fresh mushrooms
- ¼ cup chopped green onions
- salt and freshly ground black pepper
- 2 tbsp butter
- 2 tbsp dry bread crumbs
- 1 cup béchamel sauce [recipe below]
- 1 tbsp grated Swiss cheese
- 1 tsp finely chopped fresh parsley

Directions

- In a heavy, 8-10 inch skillet, cook the green onions in the butter over moderate heat, stirring constantly, for 2 mins or until they are soft.

- Add the chopped mushrooms and cook, stirring occasionally, for 8-10 mins, or until all the moisture has evaporated and they are beginning to brown lightly.

- Transfer mixture to the bowl of a food processor. Process, using pulse mode until the mixture is finely chopped. Do not over process.

- Transfer mixture to a large bowl. Stir in the béchamel sauce and parsley and season to taste with salt and pepper.

- Spoon the mixture into the pastry cups. Top with a pinch of breadcrumbs and cheese.

- Place tarts on baking sheet. Heat in 350 degree oven until mixture starts to bubble.


Béchamel Sauce

Ingredients

- 2 tbsp butter
- 1 cup hot milk
- 3 tbsp flour
- salt and pepper

Directions

- In a heavy 2-3 quart saucepan, melt the butter over moderate heat. Add the flour, mix well with a whisk. Reduce the heat to low, and heat for 2 mins stirring constantly. Add the milk, turn heat up to med-high and stir constantly with a whisk until mixture thickens and comes to a boil. Reduce heat to simmer and cook for 2-3 minutes, still stirring. Remove from heat.

Makes about 1 cup.


Seafood Filling

Ingredients

- 1 lb medium-size shrimp ground nutmeg to taste
- 1 lb scallops
- 1 can crab meat
- salt and pepper to taste
- 2 tbsp brandy or sherry [optional]
- bread crumbs
- cheese (something sharp, like an extra-old Cheddar or a Swiss, usually works well to contrast the richness)
- 1 cup Béchamel sauce [as per mushroom tarts]

Directions

- Bring about 2 cups of water to boil in large frying pan. Add scallops and cook until done [about 5 mins].

- Remove scallops with slotted spoon, chop and place in large bowl. Add shrimp to pan and cook until pink.

- Chop and add to scallops in bowl. Drain crab meat, chop and add to bowl. Add the Béchamel sauce, seasonings to taste and brandy or sherry if using. Mix well.

- Spoon filling into pastry shells. Top with pinch of breadcrumbs and cheese.

- Heat as for mushroom tarts.


To Make Ahead

- After filling tarts, place them on a baking sheet. Either refrigerate them, if using in 1-2 days, or if freezing, place baking sheets in freezer. Once tarts are frozen, put them in an airtight container and keep in freezer.

- To reheat, place tarts on baking sheet and put in a 350 degree oven for about 20-30 mins until mixture is bubbly.

- Each recipe will fill about 30 tarts or so.


So, that's just a sampling of Appetizer madness. Last night was the family Easter dinner at my Mom's, where she unleashed hot crab dip, artichoke-cheese spread, and a gourmet refried bean dip. And, as always, deeeeelicious!

'Til next time!

PS: On a side note, I've been missing the charger for my camera for months now, which meant I wasn't able to take pictures of some of my cooking projects. Finally found the damn thing as I was packing up my apartment, so I'll be including pictures of any goodness I produce and blog about in the future.

Not Your Average Sandwich! - 1st edition

For a change of pace, I'm going to take some time to take a look at some of the best sandwiches I've ever made or purchased. So, with the help of my trusty camera and brain, let's take a look at some creations that have come along. Because who doesn't love a good sandwich?

Ah, the sandwich. There's something so wonderfully simple about the sandwich. Anyone can make one out of whatever's at hand as long as they have some sort of bread product handy - that's pretty much the only "rule" that applies. Unless you consider the KFC Double Down a sandwich, and God help you if you do!

I think the vast majority of us can consider sandwiches the first thing we ever made; whether it was a sloppily assembled mess of PBJ that you put together to impress your Mom when you were 5, a tentative attempt at grilled cheese at 8, or an ingredient-crammed Peter Fox-style monstrosity to help fuel your rampaging 15-year old hormones. People who 'can't cook' can still make a good sandwich.

Now, that being said, there is still a level of sandwich making that goes a little above and beyond, usually based on a combination of ingredients and techniques. I like to experiment with "gourmet sandwiches" once in a while, but I'll admit that the best sammich in existence is the BLT, although I usually forego the L.

It's a fairly standard practice for me, when I have a morning off, to fry up 4-5 strips of bacon, toast some 12-grain bread, slice up a ripe tomato, pile the whole things together and finish it with a healthy dose of President's Choice Garlic Mayo and black pepper. Recently I pushed it a bit further and added onions to the mix. But not just any old onion! I had just finished frying up the bacon and there was all this wonderful bacon grease sitting in the pan waiting for some extra purpose. So, I sliced up some onion into rings and flash-fried them in bacon grease. YEAH! I also happened to have some delicious sourdough baguette from Bread and Sons bakery and topped it off with some of Chamomile Desjardins' Bluenose hot sauce, so it was indeed an epic sammich, as the picture will attest to.

Another creation was from an experiment in fish that I tried around the New Year. I've smoked fish, grilled it, baked it and pan-fried it. But there's one type I've never tried and that's gravlax. Now, the recipe (as shown in this recent post) called for 2 pounds, which is a LOT of fish for one person, something I should have considered before undertaking this recipe. In the end, I had to throw some out because I just couldn't eat it all before it went bad. I left some for my girlfriend, but she had a rather squeamish reaction. She's new to fish. Either way, next time I'll use a lot less or make sure I give some away.

But from this culinary experiment came a rather gorgeous piece of sandwichery. I picked up a loaf of fresh pumpernickel, some garlic and herb Boursain cheese, a vidalia onion and a fresh tomato (yeah, I like onions and tomatoes, who doesn't?). So after slicing up all the necessary elements, here's what I ended up with:

 

It was utterly delicious!

So that's the first edition of "Not Your Average Sandwich". Any contributions you can provide will be greatly appreciated, especially with photographic depictions.

Eat well!

Les mets d'chez nous! (1ère partie)

Bonjour les amis!

As you may have guessed (or I may have told you), I'm proudly French Canadian. Well, half so, the other half is dairy-farming, Potato-Famine-era Irish immigrant (although my Dad is a judge, my Grampa and all great-uncles grew up on farms and were very typically Irish-Canadian).

My Mom did some family tracing and my French roots in Canada are pretty deep. My great-great-grandfather was the mayor of Vaudreuil sometime in the late 19th Century and I've often joked that my Grandpapa's oldest Canadian ancestor is "third from the left of Champlain" is one of those old 17th C. portraits of the explorer (for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, look up Samuel de Champlain and get a taste of early Canadian history).

Now, that being said, our family, while being of fine quebecois stock, didn't really eat much in the way of traditional quebecer fare. With one notable exception: tourtière (more on that shortly). It might have something to do with the fact that my Mom hated most traditional quebecer food (again, except tourtière) and tended to go with more standard "North American" meals: roast beef, spaghetti, chili, etc.

It wasn't until I met my Dad's second wife that I learned a little more about some of the other traditional goodies like 'ragoût de boulettes' (meatball stew) and 'pattes de cochon' (pig's feet stew). Quebec food focuses a lot on making the most out of very little. Expect to find lots of fat, cheap cuts of meat and a crapton of maple syrup!

You've already seen one very common quebecois food, cretons, in an earlier post, and we ALL know about the fatty deliciousness of poutine, but there are quite a few foods out there that you might be have encountered in other cuisines that the Quebecois put a special twist on.

With that in mind, I'll be running down some of the tastier samplings of quebecois goodness I've had in my life and throwing out a few recipes here and there.

Here are the items I'll be exploring over several posts, with their more common versions in parentheses:

- Soupe aux pois (split pea soup)
- Oreilles de crisse (pork rinds)
- Tourtière (meat pie)
- Cipâte (pot pie)
- Fèvres au lard (baked beans)
- Pattes de cochons (pig's feet stew - OK, maybe this one's purely Quebecois)
- Ragoût de boulettes
- Sucre à la crème (fudge, but totally not fudge)
- Pouding chômeur (bread pudding)
- Tarte au sucre (sugar pie)

So, today's post will cover the first three items: Soupe aux pois, Oreilles de crisse, and Tourtière.

1 - Soupe aux pois (Pea soup)

Pea soup is one of the most common of traditional quebecois meals, being so commonplace that Quebecers would often be called "Peasoup" in a derogatory manner, somewhere along the same lines of "Frog". Luckily, we have our own comeback against Anglos, who've earned the charming title of "Têtes-carrés", literally translated to "Square Heads". Also, in a funny twist of product development, a company called "Habitant" is well-known for their canned pea soup. "Habitant" is also a common term to reference Quebecers, albeit not actually derogatory. Hence, why you may hear reference to the "Habs" when talking about the Montreal Canadiens hockey teams, Habs being short for Habitants.

How's that for some obscure Canadian culture? And you thought we were just a fusion of wannabe Yanks and Brits!

Now, traditional quebecois pea soup is a split yellow pea soup cooked with a ham bone or other form of smoked pork. Now, having never actually HAD pea soup, except the odd time out of a can, I didn't realize it was supposed to be yellow. Oops... Instead, in a fit of longing for comfort food, I got my brain circling around the idea of making a pea soup, but using something a little more gourmet than ham. The thought hit me like a bolt - Hey, Pancetta! Pancetta's good and I'd never used it before. So with a vague concept in mind, I now needed a recipe! Luckily, Google provides.

What I found was a made-up recipe from this nice lady out of Oregon who writes a food blog entitled "Bread & Honey". I've made a few tweaks with the herbs and added an extra touch using frozen peas.


Split Green Pea soup (w.pancetta)

Makes about 8 cups (about 4 servings)

Ingredients

- 3 cups dried split green peas (rinsed in cold water and drained)
- about 200 grams pancetta, diced (use more if you want more salt/fat content)
- 8 cups vegetable stock (NOTE: I make veggie stock using a powder if I don't have anything home made available. To reduce salt amounts, I use half the amount of powder the package calls for)
- 2 onions, diced
- 1 large carrot, diced
- 2 celery stalks, diced
- 1 potato, diced
- 5 cloves garlic, minced (or more, there's no such thing as too much garlic)
- 3 bay leaves
- 1/2 tsp dried thyme
- 1/2 tsp dried/powdered sage
- Cracked black pepper to taste
- Salt to taste (I generally add no salt, since the pancetta and veggie stock tend to add enough on their own)
- 1/2 cup frozen peas

Directions

- In a very large pot, fry pancetta on medium high heat with a splash of olive oil until crispy and browned.
- Remove from heat and spoon out all the pancetta onto a plate, leaving the fat in the pan.
- Place pot back on heat and sauté veggies until onions are glassy and begin to soften.
- Reduce heat to medium. Add broth and stir.
- Add potatoes, then split peas and bring to a boil.
- Turn heat down, add seasoning, and simmer on medium-low (3-4) for about an hour, or until peas become soft and soup thickens.
- 10 minutes before soup is done, stir in frozen peas
- Sprinkle with crunchy pancetta before serving.


The above image is purely an approximation, albeit fairly accurate, of how it'll turn out.

I like to throw in a few shots of hot sauce and eat with LOTS of warm bread and butter.

So there's my take on Soupe aux pois. It's very hearty and thick and easily serves as a meal on its own.

2 - Oreilles de crisse

These are standard fare at the multitude of cabanes à sucre (sugar shacks, where maple syrup is made in the Spring) in the province. They're essentially smoked pork rinds, fried in lard and bathed in syrup.

They mostly taste like bacon, but crispier.

I haven't yet tried my hand at this one, mostly because I'm frightened to try it... Oh so very frightened! Here's what they look like. You can see why I originally thought they were some special form of bacon...



With that in mind, I'm going to plug the cabane à sucre where I first tried oreilles de crisse. Sucrerie de la montagne makes for a a lovely family or foodie outing where you'll be stuffed to the gills with traditional quebecer fare, listen to some old-time Quebecois music, and be served by pretty French Canadian girls (and trust me, French Canadian girls ARE hotter, it's a fact. I'm totally not biased by the fact that I'm dating one). It's just outside Rigaud, Quebec, about 90 minutes from Ottawa by car, 45 from Montreal. In case you're wondering what "sucrerie" means, it's also a word for sugar shack. Yes, Quebecers love their maple syrup so much that they have two words for the place where it's made!

3 - Tourtière

Tourtière is one of the most recognizable quebecois contributions to cuisine, yet it's rarely found outside the province and certainly doesn't enjoy as much exposure in English Canada as it deserves. Living in Ottawa makes it a bit easier to find it in butcher shops since there is a strong French-speaking population here. Might have something to do with being across the river... But you'd be hard pressed to find it in amongst the Anglos...

Lord knows amongst the Francos it's as common during the Christmas holidays as roast turkey. Now for another bit of quebecer culture:

Christmas amongst French Canadian Catholics (which is almost redundant) entails a tradition known as Réveillon. The Réveillon is essentially a massive feast that occurs after celebrating Midnight Mass (which happens around midnight of December 25th, but usually begins before). Réveillon is a tradition in most French Catholic cultures, including Cajuns in Lousiana, but in Fench Canadian culture, one of the main dishes is tourtière. It certainly was when I was a kid! The turkey dinner would happen the following evening.

So what is tourtière? Basically, it's a meat pie. But, depending on which part of Quebec you're from, the details vary. For example, if you're from the Saguenay region, a tourtière is more like a cipâte (see below). But around our house, tourtière was a mix of ground beef, veal and pork with a bunch of seasonings served with either store-bought ketchup or some kind of wonderful home made version (aka ketchup maison, or similar preserves such as green tomato relish or chow-chow). I also find a medium or hot salsa is a great condiment to tourtière.

What I'm posting here is my Mom's recipe, I've never tried making it myself (the thought of trying to make the pie crust intimidates me), but Lord knows I've eaten my share! It's nothing too fancy, but its tasty simplicity is a good analogy for Quebecois cooking in general. This recipe has handed down over many generations, with tweaks coming from every cook that makes it. There is no real "standard" tourtière recipe.

Tourtière

Ingredients

Pie crust (makes four 10-inch crusts. Use one for the tourtière and freeze the rest for more tourtières, or make some pie!)

- 1 cup very cold butter
- 1 cup very cold Crisco shortening (store Crisco in fridge. Place in freezer for 1-2 hours before using)
- 4 heaping cups flour
- 1 cup ice cold water

Filling (for 1 pie)

- ¾ tsp ground cloves
- 1 lb lean ground pork (this is how my family does it. Others combine ground beef, pork and veal or any variation therein)
- ½ tsp cinnamon
- 1 clove garlic, minced salt and pepper to taste
- 1 med onion, chopped
- water

Directions

For the dough

- Divide the butter or margarine and Crisco in half and cut each half into quarters.

- Place the quarters [that’s 1/2 cup of each] in the bowl of a food processor.
- Add 2 heaping cups of the flour. Process until the fat and flour are well blended and are the consistency of coarse meal.
- Transfer mixture to a large bowl and repeat process for the rest or the fat and flour. If mixture seems too wet, add flour a bit at a time.
- Make a well in the middle of the fat/flour mixture.
- Pour in the ice water and quickly mix with a fork to blend. Work mixture as little as possible. The more you work it, the tougher the crust will be.
- Gather up the mixture and form into a ball. Wrap ball in plastic or waxed paper and refrigerate for 1 hour. Divide dough into quarters. If making a double crust pie, one “quarter” should be slightly larger than the other.
- On a floured surface, roll out dough to desired size. Again, work as little as possible. Transfer dough to pie plates and fill as desired.
- When making a baked pie shell, place dough on an inverted pie plate making sure that dough extends a bit over the edge of the plate. Cut off the extending edges with a sharp knife, wet your thumb and gently crimp edges of dough to seal to edge of plate. Pierce the top and sides of dough several times with the tines of a fork. Bake in a pre-heated 400 degree oven for 12 mins. Lower heat to 350 and continue baking for 15-20 mins or until golden. Cool on a rack for 15 mins. Gently loosen edges of crust with a knife then invert crust into another pie plate and finish cooling on a rack.
- Do not use food processor to add liquid. Dough will be “overworked” and turn out tough.
- You can always halve the recipe or freeze any dough you don’t use.


For the tourtière

- In a large frypan, fry pork, garlic and onions.
- Add spices and enough water to cover meat mixture.
- Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer, stirring frequently, for 1 hour.
- Drain fat and place mixture in a food processor or meat grinder to mince.
- Roll out bottom layer of pie crust. Place in pie pan.
- Place meat mixture on top of crust.
- Roll out top layer of crust and place on top of meat mixture.
- Seal edges of crust.
- Bake in 400 degree oven for 12 mins. Reduce heat to 350 degrees and continue baking until pie is done [about 30 mins].
- If freezing pie, reduce baking time to 15 mins. Cool pie, wrap in foil and freeze.

Hopefully, your efforts will come out looking like this:

This is basically your standard tourtière presentation (with ketchup maison on the side). Slice yourself up a big ol' piece while it's still warm and enjoy! To note: it can also be served cold (but it's better warm).



On retourne aussitôt que possible avec plusieurs d'autres recettes et histoires des mets québecois!

A plus tard!

A Toast To My Hometown's Better Eateries - Beckta

Hey all!

I'm back again with more of my impressions of some of the finer places to eat in Ottawa.

Well, today's post is a bit special in that I'm retelling one of the better dining experiences I've ever had in my life.

Kari's (my girlfriend/fellow unicorn hunter) birthday was March 15, so the preceding Saturday night we celebrated by going to what is generally considered Ottawa's finest restaurant, Beckta. We decided to go full out and have the 5-course tasting menu with cheese plate and wine pairings. Add a few cocktails and tip and the whole thing clocked in at 400 bucks. Good thing I have disposable income this month! But, totally, absolutely and utterly worth every penny.

The difference between Beckta and every other restaurant I've been to is in the service. No one server takes care of you, although there's a 'mostly' dedicated server. Instead, each server takes care of you as needed or as available. Special props to Alex, the 'bread guy' who delighted us with three different kinds of bread, but especially made our night by describing the process of caramelizing butter (which was served with the bread, and was good on everything!) and to Bill who was our dedicated server and made my night by being able to describe our meals and wine pairings without coming off too condescending or pretentious (something that I was glad to see didn't happen too often, because I was expecting it a little, although the sommelier's forced guffaws at my jokes were a little grating).

Truly, these are people who make an art of service in a very traditional context that I had never experienced before. I was delighted, although not sure how much of it I could stand long term or recurring. I'll always be a 'casual' diner and like my servers to "keep it real" for the most part. However, this is an experience easily found at many other restos in Ottawa, leaving the Beckta caliber of service in the category of "special occasion", where it should rightfully remain. And no one gave me the hairy eyeball for dancing in my chair. (The food was really good, what was I supposed to do??)

Now, the food itself was inspired with nearly zero slips or disappointments in a 5-course meal (6 if you count the cheese plate). It was a true culinary wonderland of surprises as we had no idea what our courses would be until they were in front of us. Something I really appreciate since, as you may remember from my last post (http://dudecook.blogspot.com/2011/02/if-i-were-chef.html), I too would like to "surprise" my clientele (if I had a business that had such things) with unannounced menu items. And as an added bonus, they wrote up the whole menu and gave us a print-out after we were done. YAY!

So, here's the menu with my impressions:

Openers

- Amuse-gueule of tuna rilletes and red pear on an in-house sesame cracker
- Cocktail of sparkling wine and passion fruit puree

The flavours of the tuna and the cocktail mixed beautifully, with elements of earthy, tangy and fishy (in a good way) all intermingling on the taste buds. It was kind of like there were go-go dancers on my tongue.

1st course

- Trout: Vanilla Bean and Coffee Cured Trout, Yukon Gold Potato Blinis (little pancakes), Berg en Dal Goldenrod Honey, Candied Bacon
- Wine pairing: Vouvray, Chateau Gaudrelle, France, 2009

The menu said the trout was smoked, but if it was, it must have been a very cold smoking technique. I must investigate further...

So, a wonderful mix of flavours in this one, with the blinis being little pockets of potato-flavoured air and the honey being like none I've ever tasted. If I have one issue with this dish, it's that the flavouring of the trout was a bit too subtle when paired with the bold salty-sweetness of the candied bacon. If I were doing it (and consider this the gauntlet lain to anyone who reads this), I'd have hot-smoked my trout (or, what I would preferably use, Arctic char) to give it a stronger, woodier flavour. Now, that being said, I'm simply a fairly talented amateur, so what do I know?

The wine was a great compliment here, having a subtle fruity taste and strong mineral tang in the finish. It pepped up the flavours of the dish tremendously without losing its own character.


2nd course

- Eggs Benedict: Homemade muffin, 'Nduja pâté, Lamb Pancetta, Tempura-Fried Egg Yolk, Meyer Lemon Hollandaise, Micro Osaka
- Wine pairing: Cuvée 13 Sparkling Rose, 13th Street, Niagara Peninsula 2007

Wow. This dish introduced me to something that is going to haunt me till the day I die: Lamb Pancetta. Lamb... freakin'... Pancetta!!! SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!
Imagine bacon, but with lamb's delicious subtle gaminess. Yeah, I need to figure out that one and make my own. As God as my witness, I will never go without Lamb Pancetta again!

OK, OK, there was also all the other bits of deliciousness that I need to describe. Well, let's make it simple: the muffin was tasty, especially the texture. The egg yolk was, well, egg yolk fried in tempura. Since I'm not a huge egg fan, I can't give it its proper due. BUT, in a nice surprise, Bill told us that the yolk would be runny and get all over everything (which made me cringe as I hate runny yolk). Lo and behold, a nice solid yolk.

As for the hollandaise, well, hollandaise is another one of those culinary items that does not really send me to the moon. It's damn tasty, but just not one of my faves. But the addition of the Meyer lemon really made it dance. Definitely one of the best I've ever had.

With this dish, I'm going to make clear culinary ignorance and declare that I have no freaking clue what 'Njuda pâté nor Micro Osaka mean. Internet to the rescue!

Nduja pâté: Oooooooh, it's like a pork pâté made from the head! THAT's what that extra meaty subtleness was!

Micro Osaka: I suspect this was actually a kind of beer that helped flavour the rest of the dish, but not sure how they incorporated it...

In the end, this course could have been Lamb Pancetta on a soda cracker and I would have been impressed! OM!

As for the wine pairing, I was completely taken aback at the flavour of the sparkling wine. Normally, I'm not a huge fan of sparkling wine. I find it needs to be mixed with something. But the elements of this wine on the tongue were complex and remarkable. The flavour that came out the strongest, and this might sound crazy, was turmeric. Yeah, earthy, dense turmeric in a sparkling wine. Weird, eh?


3rd course

- Quail: Seared Quail, Boudin Noir, Ghost Pumpkin Puree, Grilled Cortland Apple, Port Syrup
- Wine pairing: Pinot Noir, Appleby Lane, New Zealand 2008

Well, now, ain't this fancy? Quail, eh? I'll be honest, I've never had quail before. Turns out it's delicious! It's basically a leaner, slightly more restrained version of duck. Whatever the glaze/sauce it was cooked in was magnificent. Oh wait, maybe that was the Port Syrup. Mmmmmmmmm....

So, on top of that, there was the Boudin Noir, which is essentially blood sausage. I'd never had it before, but I found the flavour quite reminiscent of haggis. Good thing I love haggis!

The Ghost Pumpkin Puree (ghost pumpkin and white pumpkin are the same thing) was subtly flavoured, imagine a less strong tasting squash. Didn't really taste like pumpkin, but that isn't a bad thing!

I loved the Grilled Cortland Apple element. There's something magical yet totally simple about grilled apple.

The whole came together as a kind of autumnal comfort dish, and paired tremendously with the New Zealand Pinot Noir. Being especially fond of Pinot Noir, I was very pleased to try one from a region I didn't even know grew Pinot Noir grapes! As a good Pinot should be, it was light and flavourful.

It was around this time that I'd begun dancing in my chair, I hope no one minded...

Intermezzo

- Iced Earl Grey Tea, Burnt Oranges

Umm, Iced Tea! With Burnt Oranges! Cleared the palette well, but that's about all I can say. Not a big Iced Tea fan...

4th course

- Bison: Seared Bison Striploin, Taro Root Robuchon, Tame Mushrooms, Bok Choy, Red Cabbage, "Broken" Ponzu of Soy Reduction and Yuza Gastrique
- Wine pairing: Cabernet Sauvignon, Bommarito, Napa Valley, California 2006

First they brought out the Cabernet Sauvignon, the sommellier hinting that it was time for the 'big guns', which prompted yours truly to wonder out loud if the next dish might consist of something that had once had four legs and might bleed on the plate. No response. Then, out came the steak knives. *Insert meat squee here*

So, needless to say I was almost jumping out of my seat when this gorgeous piece of burgundy, almost dark purple, meat got to the plate, surrounded by deep, rich red and orange, which were in turn offset by the lighter greens and whites of the bok choy and taro root. It was a beautiful plate (and this coming from the guy who doesn't really give a flying fig about food presentation).

What was even more beautiful was how tender the bison. I could damn near cut through the 2 inch thick striploin cut with my fork. But I stopped myself for fear of making a racket and a mess. I do, on occasion, stop my clumsiness from going too far... The meat was delicious, lean, and surprisingly un-gamey. It tasted like beef that had infused with, I don't know, faerie dust? It's hard to describe the first time you taste something!

The Taro Root Robuchon was basically a mash (apparently "Robuchon" refers to a method of cooking based on the name of a French chef. Here's the loop, and then here's me, about 5 light years away) with a nutty, subtle parsnip flavour. Very nice.

The "Tame" Mushrooms simply meant that the mushrooms weren't wild. Um, OK... They were mushrooms, so what can I say other than mushrooms are awesome? These were as well!

The bok choy was prepared simply, lightly steamed with some butter (and lemon?) while the cabbage was, I believe, raw. But all elements worked well in concert, with one slight exception based on my own tastes. The ponzu (a Japanese style citrus reduction) was actually quite tasty, but the soy element was just too damned salty. When combined with the accumulated salt of all the preceding dishes, it seemed a bit much. Unfortunately, it took away more than it added to the dish. Oh well...

Can't really say much about the wine. It was a big, bold California Cab, ideal for red meat. It was definitely playing Robin to the bison's Batman. In other cases, like the Eggs Benedict, the wine almost overshadowed the plate. Totally not the case here, which is good. I can't imagine having a wine so bold as to overpower a bison steak would be a wise idea.

Around this point, Kari had already been gripping the table in joy, but she was starting to feel a bit full. She wasn't sure about going for the cheese plate. So, we decided after they cleared our table of the bison plate, to just chill and finish our wine. And then those sneaky bastards took the cheese for a walk to another table, right in plain sight! When Kari saw those pretty veins of blue cheese, she didn't need any further convincing.


Cheese plate

- Prestiche de Bourgogne (super creamy Brie)
- Niagara Gold (strong cow's milk)
- Sainte Maure de Touraine (goat's milk)
- Smokin' Back Forty (hard sheep's milk)
- Peau Rouge (hard tangy)
- Celtic Blue (smooth blue)
- Wine pairing: Madeira "Fine Old" 5-year, Casa dos Vinhos, Portugal

So, this was a veritable "world tour" of cheese, with some from France, Ireland and here at home (OK, so more like a Euro-Canadian tour).

The Prestiche de Bourgogne was one of the creamiest Brie/Camembert-style cheeses I've ever had. It was almost buttery, and richly flavoured without being overpowering the way, say, a Boursin can be. Thoroughly enjoyable.

Next was the Niagara Gold, a cheese with a cheddar-like texture which got met with mixed reactions. It had a very strong "barn" smell and flavour. Kari thought it was icky, I found it intriguing. But not really delicious. Definitely last on the list.

The Sainte Maure de Touraine was a goat's milk cheese out of Quebec with a remarkably subtle flavour. Kind of a welcome change from the standard over-the-top sharpness of most "chèvre".

The Smokin' Back Forty was a Beckta exclusive (oooooh, fancy!), made in nearby Lanark County, then shipped to the resto where they smoke it with rosemary. Yeah, guess which cheese was my favourite? This had a wonderful light smoky flavour (they used apple wood, I think) that didn't overpower the natural fresh flavour of the cheese itself. I need more! Maybe Beckta will cut me a side deal? Would ya? Guys? Pleeeeeeeease?! I'll totally be your friend forever and ever!

The Peau Rouge comes out of Quebec (I think) and had a strong sharp flavour that is nestled somewhere between an extra-old cheddar and a Parmesan. Very salty, but in this case the saltiness worked well, especially when cut by the Madeira. And the cheese itself did this fun little dissolving act on the tongue that was quite enjoyable.

Last but not least was the Celtic Blue (from Ireland, I assume?). This was a very mild blue cheese, which was rather welcome at the end of the night. My taste buds were getting a little overwhelmed! Not really much to comment about it. It's blue cheese, it's delicious!

The Madeira pairing served as kind of a catch-all to cover the sheer variety of all these cheeses. It worked well, having an almost maply flavour and richness, but without so much sugar. It had a velvety finish that gave an exquisite mouth feel when matched with the creamier cheeses.

5th course

- Dessert - "Tropical Cubist Movement": Grilled Pineapple Polenta Cake, White Chocolate Bavarois, Cinnamon Date Semi Freddo, Citrus-Cured Papaya with Espellette Pepper
- Wine pairing: Riesling "Indian Summer" Cave Spring, VQA Niagara Peninsula 2007

Before I comment on how good things were in the dessert course, let me just say that by the time we got around to dessert, we'd been in the restaurant for about 3 and a half hours and were near bursting. So if I don't do justice to these wonderful examples of the art of sweet, I apologize in advance, my sinuses were packed with meat. And cheese. And wine...

So, the desserts were a series of little squares (hence "Cubist" - Oh you witty chefs!) served with the usual artistic flair that I have yet to master.

First, the Grilled Pineapple Polenta Cake. The flavour was reminiscent of pineapple upside-down cake, albeit better (naturally). What made this dish unique was the interesting exercise in texture it presented. On its own, when first biting a piece of the cake, it was tough and chewy, but as you chewed it with the pineapple, the acidity of the fruit helped to soften the cake into a perfect bite. It was like a chemistry class in my mouth!

Next was the White Chocolate Bavarois (aka Bavarian cream). This one was sort of neutral to me in the sense that the flavours didn't smack me upside the head and scream "I'M NEW! LOVE ME!" It was creamy white chocolate goodness. Not much else I can say about it.

What's a Semi Freddo? Half of a wimpy Corleone? The Italian name for a pair of ambiguously gay hobbits? In fact, it's an Italian term for a "half frozen" dessert. Basically, a frozen kind of mousse. Not sure how "freddo" this Cinnamon Date Semi Freddo was, but man was it molto bene! I'm a big fan of cinnamon when used correctly, and it was here, blending superbly with the mousse. The flavour of date (which must have been ground in this case) played more of a support role, which I enjoyed. Too much date is cloying. Not what I needed from dessert, especially since the Riesling had a honey-like palette. Both together would have been way too much.

But the pièce de résistance (and likely the easiest to prepare) was the Citrus-Cured Papaya. So fresh and tasty and bursting with goodness, it was exactly the way to relieve the tongue of all those flavours. The Esplenette Pepper was this lovely melange of spicy and sweet (peppers and sugar) and the whole of it came together in a perfect end note to the evening.

The Reisling was a surprisingly good match, especially considering how much I normally dislike sweeter wines. But in this case, it complimented with the Semi Freddo and Bavarois and was deliciously subdued by the acidity of the pineapple and papaya.

So, friends, there's my tale of culinary extravagance told. Finishing touches came from Bill as he brought us the print-out of our menus as a souvenir, and Alex suggesting that if I needed the recipe for Lamb Pancetta, to maybe ask for it on the Beckta Web site (http://www.beckta.com/).

In the end, this was an unforgettable experience, one I hope to recreate when my pockets are once again obese.

To the servers and cooks at Beckta, I salute you for being the artists that make life so much better for Hedonists like me. Maybe some day I'll repay the favour!

And to anyone watching who's in the know or happens to work at (or own) Beckta, I hope you like what I have to say. I welcome any clarifications about the meal and suggestions for future dining experiences.

Cheers!

Mad Scientist Day!

Hello my pretties!

Sometimes you can come up with things in the kitchen that make you laugh with an "M" at your own evil creative genius... MWAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

I'll give my girl Kari credit, she can push the recipe envelope into the realm of insanity better than anyone I know. Example: We were having leftover "Chocolate Goop" (a melty chocolate pudding my mother makes, more on her food awesomeness to come soon!) when she's like, 'hey, let's add a scoop of that Butter Tart Ice Cream! And then chop up some Turtles and sprinkle them on top! Yeah! And then add Sucre à la crème, and whipped cream, and berries! And maybe peanut butter!' Luckily we stopped at the Turtles...

It's pretty easy to let your imagination run wild when you have a basic concept of how some foods go with others. But sometimes we can go too far and throw in that one ingredient that either overpowers the whole dish (e.g. cardamom) or we pair ingredients that, if done wrong, spoils the whole damn thing. A good example is mixing citrus, like lemon, with dairy. Can we say curdle? (it is possible to mix the two correctly, but it takes special attention and care)

But sometimes it can work to mix unlikely ingredients into interesting pieces of culinary fusion. It also helps you clear out the fridge and freezer!

Just recently I found myself unsure of what to make for dinner. So, head to the supermarket, right? Well, the local supermarket was closed, leaving me to have to go to the nearby organic veggie market, which is somewhat more expensive. But, red cabbage was fairly cheap, and their avocados were about the same price as the supermarket, and nice and ripe! So, with unconventional fusional recipes inventing themselves in my mind, I bought the produce and went home to see what I could bash together. What I came up with was something I've named Mad Scientist Stew. It's basically a fusion of flavours from Eastern and Northern Europe, basically a Slav-Scandinavian fusion, with a touch of Mexico (the avocado) and East Asia (ginger). I made it pretty spicy too. The reason I thought this might work is that sour cream is part of European cooking as well as Mexican, and that the buttery texture of avocado would be an interesting counterpoint to the sweet/sour flavouring of the stew.

The amounts I used were determined on the spot, so bear with me.

Mad Scientist Stew

Ingredients

- Olive oil
- 1 1/2 inch piece of ginger, peeled and minced
- 4 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 small head red cabbage, chopped coarsely
- 1 small onion, chopped coarsely
- 1 large carrot, peeled and sliced
- 1 tsp smoked paprika
- pinch cayenne pepper
- 1/2 cup liquid from jar of pickled herring
- 1/2 cup pickled herring filets
- 1 cup vegetable cocktail
- 2 pickled hot peppers (banana or jalapeno), roughly chopped
- 1 cup red wine
- 1 can tomato paste
- Salt and pepper to taste
- 2-4 tsp caraway seeds
- 1 ripe Haas avocado, roughly diced into chunks
- Sour cream for serving

Directions

- Sauté ginger and garlic in olive oil, until garlic begins to turn golden
- Add cabbage, onion, carrot, paprika and cayenne sauté for 2-3 minutes
- Add pickled herring juice, vegetable cocktail, hot peppers and wine, bring to a boil
- Reduce heat to medium, stir in tomato paste and 1 tbsp of caraway seeds
- Season with salt and pepper (salt may not be needed as there is a fair bit of salt in the paste, veggie cocktail and herring)
- Reduce heat to medium-low (3) and simmer for 30-40 minutes
- Once stew has thickened, stir in another 1 tbsp caraway seeds (or more if you're like me and really like the flavour they impart) and avocado chunks
- Serve in bowls, stir in sour cream to taste

I found this was really good with a cold beer, but I bet a nice dry white wine would work well too. Yes, I realize there's red wine in the recipe, but there's also white fish, so I figure white wine.

This next recipe is more 'goat' than 'mad scientist'. I had a few ingredients in the fridge one night that I knew needed to be used up soon or they'd go bad, but I didn't really have a clear recipe in mind. I'd recently made some sort of Thai curry and had a bunch of leftovers as well as lots of veggies. So, feeling bold, I decided to try and a wacky mix of Mediterranean and Thai flavours together. The result was surprisingly good. I'd give it a 3 out of 4.

So, if you want to try a semi-traditional pasta sauce with Thai and Ethiopian elements, here you go!

Fusion Sauce for Pasta

Ingredients

- 3 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 sweet (vidalia) onion, diced
- 2 tbsp olive oil
- 4 ripe tomatoes, finely diced (or 1 can tomatoes)
- 1 can tomato paste
- 2 tbsp red Thai curry paste
- 400 g steak cut into strips (or use whatever meat you like, or none)
- 2 tbsp Berbere spice (if you don't know the recipe by now, for shame!)
- 1 tsp fresh ground black pepper
- 1 red pepper and 1 yellow pepper, cut into strips
- 1/4 cup Kalamata olives, pitted and sliced
- 3-4 kaffir lime leaves
- 1/2 can coconut milk (about 1 cup)
- juice of 1/4 lime
- fresh basil leaves (Thai basil or regular basil or both)
- fresh cilantro

Directions

- Sauté garlic and onions in olive oil for about 4 minutes, ensuring the garlic doesn't overcook.
- Add tomatoes, beef or chicken (if using) and cook for another 6-7 minutes.
- Add tomato paste, curry paste, Berbere spice and pepper. Stir until pastes are well dissolved into sauce.
- Add peppers and simmer at medium-low for about 10 minutes until peppers are somewhat cooked.
- Add lime leaves, olives, lime juice and coconut milk, turn heat up to medium high until coconut milk reduces (about 10 minutes)
- Pick out lime leaves
- Sauce is ready to serve over cooked pasta (or toss pasta with sauce in pan)
- Garnish with basil and cilantro

I was surprised at the interesting mix of flavours. Definitely not for the faint of palette!

So, there you go! Sometimes it's more fun to say "Frak the rules" and go a little crazy in the kitchen. You never know what the result might be! Just remember this: the Caesar Salad was invented as a "mad scientist" kind of recipe. And who doesn't like Caesar Salad?

Cheers! Enjoy! Feast! Create! Experiment!

If I were a chef

It's Imagination Day! Like on the Polka-Dot-Door!

It's no secret that I have some aspirations of making a living of cooking, but the last thing I want to do is work in a big bustling restaurant, whether it be as line cook or executive chef. I was a line/prep cook for 5 years in my late teens/early 20s and, unless you have aspirations of chefdom, that's more than long enough. There is nothing quite so exhausting as being completely overwhelmed by food orders as you hemorrhage sweat surrounded by people you often don't like, with servers barking at you the whole while. All for minimum wage. Good times.

No, I don't ever want to relive those days. But to run a small café in the backwoods of Ontario's cottage country or Quebec's Laurentians (where the skiing happens) would be a dream come true, as long as there was only seating for, say, 20 people. I kid you not. So, I don't have a particularly profitable vision of life as a restauranteur.

That being said, I do still wonder what I'd serve if I had my own place. So, this post will examine some of those items and I may toss a recipe or two your way to reflect this.

Well, first of all, I'm a BIIIIIG fan of smoking food, as demonstrated in recent posts (January 3 and January 22), so that would be a big part of the menu.

So, here's the sample menu for sh**s and giggles:


Small plates/Soup/Salad

- Cold Fish Two Ways (smoked tilapia and salmon gravlax)
- Lobster Bisque
- African-style Sweet Potato Soup (vegan)
- Chicken Burrito (fancied up)
- Smokeshow Special (smoked meat sampler)
- Pasta Salad Still Rules (with olives, red pepper and dill) (vegan) - available with grilled or smoked shrimp for a few bucks extra (thus less vegan)
- Salad of the Day

Large plates

- Smoked Pork Tenderloin w.seasonal sauces (wild garlic and fiddleheads sauteed in white wine in Spring, blueberry reduction in Summer, apple compote in Fall, maple-cognac in Winter) served w. root veg. mash
- Gourmet Chili - served with home-baked bun and extra-old cheddar
- Beef Curry (w. smoked beef brisket?) - served with home-baked naan
- Smoked Chicken Thighs - w. root veg. mash
- The Hippie Silencer: Grilled Veggie Medley (vegan) - served with gluten-free home-baked wraps
- Smoked Ribs w. blue cheese cabbage slaw and home-baked cornbread
- Seafood medley (King crab legs or lobster *in season*, hot-smoked tiger shrimp, grilled calamari, poached or smoked fish) served w. lemon-steamed broccoli
- Steak My Way (8 oz. Filet mignon cooked either grilled, pan-seared w.mushroom and brandy reduction or blackened) served with grilled potato slices and Salad of the Day


Not sure what I'd do with desserts, I guess I'll leave that to either the person I hire to be a pastry chef, or the woman I marry. Let's hope she can bake!

So, any jerks out there who are out to steal my idea, I'm going to give you even MORE fuel for that fire. I've got recipes! Mind you, quite a few are in other posts. Any excuse to get y'all to read my stuff! Mwahahaahahaha!

Let's break down this proposed menu, shall we? Who knows, maybe you'll have fun putting one of these together!

1 - SMALL PLATES


COLD FISH TWO WAYS

So, for the small plates, we start with Cold Fish Two Ways. This would include my smoked tilapia and salmon gravlax.

Gravlax is a Scandinavian recipe for salt/sugar-curing various types of fish, usually salmon. The process of curing helps remove moisture from the meat, allowing it to keep longer. It's also damned tasty!
Here's the recipe I used. I got it out of the paper many years ago, I believe. (WARNING: This is for true piscophiles. If the look and texture of raw fish gives you the heebie-jeebies, don't try this. While it's cured and therefore not exactly raw, the fish's texture doesn't really change much in gravlax.)

Irish Gravlax

2 pounds fresh salmon, skin on, with pin bones and scales removed
Cracked black pepper
1/2 cup brown sugar
3 tbsp chopped fresh dill
2 cups kosher salt
1 ounce Irish whiskey (Jameson's or Bushmills)

- Season salmon with a thick coating of pepper, brown sugar and dill. Put a 1/2-inch layer of salt in a dish, and lay salmon skin-side down on salt. Drizzle whiskey over salmon.
- Top salmon with a thick layer of salt, making sure it is completely covered. Tightly wrap in plastic wrap and weigh it down with a 1-pound can or weight. Refrigerate for 2 to 3 days.
- Remove salmon from salt crust and rinse off. With a very sharp knife, slice salmon on the bias as thinly as possible.
- Serve as an appetizer. Gravlax can be stored, tightly wrapped, in refrigerator for up to a week. Yield: 2 pounds, or about 16 2-ounce servings.

Essentially the plate would consist of 2-3 oz. servings of each kind of fish, slice thin, and served with toasted pumpernickel rounds and dill crème fraiche. I'd also sprinkle a bit of maple sugar on top.

LOBSTER BISQUE

Lobster bisque is a delicious soup, rich and filling. I can't even remember where or how I got the recipe.

I think I used this one from epicurious.com, but it was over a year ago and I'm old.


2-3 pounds whole lobster - I used frozen 'canners' - which are smallish lobsters of a pound or so. As you'll see in the recipe, you'll want the shells intact.
1 medium onion
1 celery rib
1 carrot
1 vine-ripened tomato
1 head garlic
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons chopped fresh tarragon leaves
2 tablespoons chopped fresh thyme leaves
1 bay leaf
8 black peppercorns
1/2 cup brandy
1/2 cup dry Sherry
4 cups fish stock (available powdered at your local fishmonger's)
1/4 cup tomato paste
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 1/2 tablespoons cornstarch
2 tablespoons water

Fill a 6-quart kettle three fourths full with salted water and bring to a boil. Plunge lobster headfirst into water and cook, covered, over high heat 8 minutes. Transfer lobster with tongs to a large bowl and in a measuring cup reserve 2 cups cooking liquid. Let lobster stand until cool enough to handle. Working over a bowl to catch the juices, twist off tail and claws and reserve juices. Reserve tomalley and discard head sacs and any roe. Remove meat from claws and tail, reserving shells and lobster body. (Lobster meat will not be cooked through.) Coarsely chop meat and transfer to a bowl. Chill lobster meat, covered.

Chop onion, celery, carrot, and tomato and halve garlic head crosswise. In a 6-quart heavy kettle heat oil over moderately high heat until hot but not smoking and sauté reserved lobster shells and body, stirring occasionally, 8 minutes. Add vegetables, garlic, herbs, peppercorns, brandy, and Sherry and simmer, stirring, until almost all liquid is evaporated, about 5 minutes. Add stock and reserved tomalley and cooking liquid. Simmer mixture, uncovered, stirring occasionally, 1 hour.

Pour mixture through a fine sieve into a large saucepan, pressing on and discarding solids. Whisk in tomato paste and simmer until reduced to about 3 cups, about 10 minutes. Add cream and simmer bisque 5 minutes. In a small bowl stir together cornstarch and water and whisk into bisque. Simmer bisque, stirring, 2 minutes. (Bisque will thicken slightly.) Add lobster meat with any reserved juices and simmer bisque 1 minute, or until lobster meat is just cooked through. Season bisque with salt and pepper.

AFRICAN-STYLE SWEET POTATO SOUP

I just made up the name, I'll probably do the same with the recipe! I imagine there'll be nuts and spice. I promise a recipe in the near future, as soon as I figure it out.

CHICKEN BURRITO

I'd use the recipe from this post but adapt it a little. Maybe use smoked chicken and phyllo pastry? I'd definitely add some kind of super tasty home made salsa.

SMOKESHOW SPECIAL

This will be a sampler of all the meats that I smoke in the restaurant. So, some pork tenderloin, a couple of ribs, some beef brisket, and a chicken leg. Served with a sauce sampler and lots of freshly baked bread. Ideal for sharing!

PASTA SALAD STILL RULES

Not many places do pasta salad and I'm not sure why. I personally have always been a fan and I would love to  make a very high end gourmet pasta salad, which isn't too hard.

SALAD OF THE DAY

Fairly self-explanatory.


2 - LARGE PLATES

I must admit that the more artistic, presentation-oriented large plates at a place like Whalesbone or Town kind of make the need for a "meat-veg-starch" a little irrelevant. That being said, I am still a fan of there being a focal point to a plate and since I am an avid carnivore, that's usually the meat. I'm adding a vegan option because, well, why not? Best not to alienate customers.

SMOKED PORK TENDERLOIN

I love pork tenderloin. It's delicious, tender (duh) and easy to cook. I've already covered what's involved in smoking pork tenderloin, so I figure I'd have it on the menu and switch it up seasonally based on available ingredients. Springtime in Ottawa means fiddleheads, and I think a simple wine sauteed sauce with fiddleheads and wild garlic would go very well with tenderloin. Not sure how I'd rub the pork in that case though...

Summer means blueberries and I think I'd rub the pork with a bit of cocoa and coffee to give it a richness to offset the tangy sweetness of a blueberry sauce.

In Fall, it's apples, so I'd make a fairly simple apple compote, or possibly try to evoke Thanksgiving flavours (sage, cranberries, etc.)

Winter would have me go back to an old favourite, my Maple-Cognac glaze, as described in my January 30 2010 post.

All of these would be served with a mash of root veggies (carrot, turnip, parsnip, potato, and so forth), depending on the season. In Spring and Summer, I might go with a simple side of sautéed veggies.


GOURMET CHILI

Alright, everyone and their dog can make chili and it's kind of odd to think of serving it in a nice resto, but in the colder months, a hearty bowl of chili can be exactly what the doctor ordered. Now the question that comes up is, how do you fancy up something like chili? Well, maybe the idea is not to. Although, the idea of using a mix of Sirloin steak pieces, pulled pork, chorizo sausage and LOTS of beer is starting to appeal to me.

BEEF CURRY

One of the first recipes I ever successfully "invented" was the Beef Sweet-Potato Curry mentioned in a September 19 post. Since I like the idea of serving gourmet comfort food alongside smoked goodness,  I think I could meld the two successfully in this recipe. Use the best quality stuff in the base (organic, high end tomatoes, garlic, etc.) and instead of normal stewing beef, use pieces of smoked beef brisket to add that much more flavour. I'm still debating if I'd go with sweet potato in this one, I'm not sure how it would pair up with the smoked meat.

SMOKED CHICKEN

This is my next experiment in smoking. Most folks think of chicken breast when they think of chicken served in a restaurant, but I find that chicken thighs and legs have so much more flavour and are a lot harder to dry out. So, I think using bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs and legs would also do the trick, giving it a kind of rustic look. Seriously, remember when you were a kid; did your mom ever go through all the trouble of buying boneless chicken breast? Methinks not. Of course, that might just be a sign that I'm really old.

I'd probably use mesquite wood for the smoking and use something like the following rub:

- 3 tbsp brown sugar
- 1 tbsp smoked paprika
- 1 tsp cayenne pepper
- 1/2 tsp crushed fennel seeds
- 1/2 crushed black pepper
- 1 tsp salt
- 1 tsp onion powder
- 1/2 tsp ground allspice

Smoke at 250 degrees for about 2 hours, tent (wrap in foil), splash with apple juice, and smoke for another hour, unwrap and smoke for another 30 mins., finish in oven before serving.

The whole thing would be served on a bed of wild rice with a side of the same root veg mash/sauteed veg mentioned with the pork tenderloin.

THE HIPPIE SILENCER

I have more than a few friends who have the craziest food allergies, especially as it relates to gluten. On top of that, a lot of the most vulnerable people I know are amongst the tree-hugging ilk. OK, slight tangent time. Is it me or are there two kinds of hippie as it relates to food? There's either the "must be organic, macro-biotic, unsullied, level 7 vegan" hippies or the "feed me something dead, preferably fresh from the forest, RIGHT NOW!" hippies. I find myself gravitating to the latter group, go figure. Right, tangent over.

Anyway, with vegetariansim/veganism being as much trend as lifestyle choice and a lot of people being real sticklers for the no-meat thing, I figure I need to serve something meatless as a main course. Now, that shows how nice a guy I am.

But time for tangent no.2. Dear vegetarians, expecting ANY food establishment that doesn't advertise itself as vegetarian-friendly to NOT include animal products shows a kind of cultural arrogance that makes me Hulk-angry. Case study: I was picking up the usual pre-D&D Banh mi pig-out and as we're waiting for them to be prepared, in walk the poster boy-and-girl for hipster douchebaggery (seriously, they had interchangeable all-denim wardrobes AND ironic eyewear. Kari and I had to cover our mouths to not let the chortles come out too loudly). Quote the dude with his girlfriend's half-eaten sub "Umm, does this have MEAT on it? My partner doesn't eat meat."

Now, maybe it's de rigueur for hipsters to have the speech patterns of a disgruntled teenage girl or something, but the disdain in this guy's voice (and the fact that he did the talking for his girlfriend AND called her his 'partner') made me want to punch. If you want to eat vegetarian, what in God's name are you doing in a Vietnamese sub shop where they slather paté on every sandwich? And why weren't you asking what goes on the sandwich? Way to do your research there, buddy!

Sorry, but omnivorism is the NATURAL human state of eating. To be exclusively anything means YOU are responsible for ensuring that the place serving you conforms to your culinary choices. Assume nothing about what goes in food. Want proof? Just read the "vegetarian" section of any Chinese menu. Notice all the pork included? Yeah...

OK, now that the rant is out of the way, I can proceed with serving the Hippie Silencer. Essentially, it'll be a medley of marinated and seasonal grilled veggies served with vegan and gluten free wraps. I'll leave the conceptualization and baking of said wraps to the baker (apparently teff flour works, so perhaps it could have an Ethiopian vibe and be served on injera?). On the side, a simple chickpea and black bean salad (gotta have protein somewhere!).

Like with most vegetarian dishes, it's easy to be creative and switch it up on a regular basis. So, the marinade would change fairly regularly. As long as it's good, I imagine building a decent vege-foodie following. This one's a work in progress either way. Just gotta remind myself that honey is a no-no for vegans.

SMOKED RIBS (w. blue cheese cabbage slaw and home-baked cornbread)

Well, this one's easy.

A rack of hickory-cherry smoked ribs, as demoed in my January 3rd post, served with homemade BBQ sauce. On the side, some of Kari's homemade cornbread and the following coleslaw (from epicurious.com, turned out great!):

Blue Cheese Coleslaw

- 1/2 cup blue cheese, crumbled
- 1/2 cup buttermilk
- 3 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
- 2 tablespoons organic cane sugar
- 12 cups shredded green and red cabbage
- 1 cup shredded carrot

Place first 4 ingredients in processor; blend until smooth, about 30 seconds. Place cabbage and carrot in large bowl. Add dressing; toss. Season with salt and pepper. Cover; chill at least 1 hour.

I foresee great things from this one!

SEAFOOD MEDLEY

In case you hadn't noticed, I freaking LOVE seafood. At the top of that list is a running battle between lobster and king crab. Both have such rich sweetness that just makes my taste buds dance the Snoopy Jig. So, what kind of chef would I be if I didn't serve my favourite food?

Luckily, Alaskan king crab is a sustainable catch, and lobster can be if you find the right supplier.

Now, I'm a big fan of the old school Fisherman's Platter you find at more 'homey' fish restos. Usually they consist of a combination of deep-fried scallops and shrimp, with a piece of fish and some crab. But, since I'm Joe Smoke these days, I'd have to throw my spin on this kind of plate. Hence, the aformentioned medley. So, depending on availability and season, it would consist of a few crab legs or a lobster tail/claw combo.

Add to that some hot-smoked shrimp (see my January 22 post for the 'how-to') and grilled calamari (essentially marinated squid rings thrown on the grill for a few minutes). If I ever figure out how to smoke scallops, you can bet they'll be in there too!

And then, on top of that, whatever is on the "catch of the day" radar, either smoked or poached. Then the lemon-steamed broccoli (which is simply broccoli florets steamed in water with a few squeezes of lemon and some seasoning).

Add a whack of garlic butter and there you go!

STEAK MY WAY

This is basically my way of saying "Oi, trust your cook with your meat!" Once upon a time I worked at a somewhat 'middle of the road' restaurant called Big Daddy's Crab Shack and Oyster Bar. It was one of the first Cajun places in Canada, but was run with a chain mentality. As a result, the food was fairly decent, but a bit "lowest common denominator". Now, as with any halfway decent restaurant that aspires to the American tourist concept of 'gourmet', there had to be steak on the menu (as well as surf and turf since there was a strong seafood presence on the menu). There we had two kinds: the 12 oz. New York striploin and the 8 oz. filet mignon. It was one night preparing a filet where I had my first encounter with the truth that sometimes, especially when it comes to food, the customer is WRONG!!!!!!

The customer in question ordered a filet mignon well done. This in and of itself is an oxymoron, but the sous chef did his best. We cooked it until the meat was a uniform shade of regrettable grey-brown (which is not to criticize the restaurant or the steak, that's simply what 'well done' does to a beautiful piece of meat). With heavy hearts, we sent it out. Back it came with the complaint that it wasn't done enough, there was still blood. Now, if you've ever had a filet mignon, you'll know that it is pretty much impossible to get rid of all the blood. So, we put it in the oven to cook it through even more. Back out it went, back to the kitchen it came. In a fit of exasperation, the sous chef took his tongs and started squeezing the blood out while holding it over the flame of the range, basically scorching this unfortunate piece of beef. Finally this finally did the trick.

But since then, I've decided that sometimes people need to realize that you can't ask someone to try and cook against nature! A filet mignon should never be more than medium rare, medium if you bribe the chef enough. So, in my restaurant, the steak is cooked to MY specifications.

So, there it is, a fledgling menu for a restaurant that may never exist. But at least I can dream about it, and experiment with the menu items over and over and again!

And you, out there in blog-land, what would your dream menu have on it?